Strange Places
by LanaKrios
Summary: Hawke is approached by Varric Tethras about all the odd places Anders has been hiding his Manifesto. Rated T for Sexual references.


"Hawke. We need to talk." The displeasure in the Dwarf's voice was evident as he stippled his fingers over his hairy chest.

Marian sighed and crossed her arms, "Varric, I came here to drink, relax and hopefully play cards. This cannot wait?"

Varric smirked before continuing. "It's about Blondie." He took a moment to relish how easily he was able to capture her attention by mentioning her lover. "It's about his manifest." He finished, leaning back into his chair.

The Champion rolled her eyes quickly, "You too?" She huffed in anger before uncrossing her arms and placing them by her sides. Her expression turned serious for a moment and she leaned across the table to engage the Dwarf. "Who else?"

The Dwarf raised an eyebrow, suddenly deciding to milk this for its worth. This would surely make an interesting chapter in his story. "Whatever do you mean, Champion?" his look was challenging, daring her to share information hidden deep within her own memory.

Her eyes narrow and her brows come together in suspicion. "You know what I mean. Who else has been finding his manifest?"

Varric smiled wide, his teeth glinting in the firelight. "Ah, you caught me. I guess I cannot fool you." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "I do believe Rivaini found it under her sheets one night. Blondie must have gotten there in the middle of the day, though I don't know how he could have gotten past the smell of her sheets. She rarely washes them you know."

Marian blanched, she waved her hands in front of her face frantically. "Please, no. I don't want details of how Isabella's sheets smell. Who else?"

Booming laughter filled the warm tavern room. Varric swiped his hand across his eyes to quell the moisture gathered there. "Well, I do believe Choir Boy found his copy in his personal prayer box. He seemed rather perturbed, honestly."

Hawke shrugged casually, "Well, Sebastian and Anders never really got along, did they? Anyone else?"

"Fenris. Wine cellar. I do believe he destroyed that copy though."

Marian sighed loudly as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel a very strong migraine forming already. The conversation she was going to have to have with Anders was not going to be a pleasant one. "I'm sure he was offended. I doubt Tevinter taught their slaves how to read." She put her hand in her lap before smiling sweetly at Varric and giving him her best pleading look.

The Dwarf wasn't fazed. He grinned and waved his hands in front of his chest. "Nu-uh, Champion. If you can handle the Arishok, I'm sure you can handle this little lover's quarrel."

Marian grunted and stood abruptly. She pointed a finger at Varric and wagged it in front of him. "You are no fun anymore. Can't believe you would miss a chance to witness something like this." She turned on her heel and stormed from the Hanged man.

Varric chuckled as she disappeared from view. Blondie wasn't going to appreciate that talk, he knew.

Marian burst through her estate's door fuming. She stalked up the stairs and crossed the floor to the door of her room. She swung the heavy door forward and stopped in her tracks.

The sight before her almost caused her resolve to break. The mage was rifling through her knicker drawer, strategically placing pages of his manifesto in between her small clothes. Her face flushed as he came across some of the frillier underclothes she had purchased to please him.

The Champion balled her fists at her side and was nearly shaking from embarrassment. "ANDERS YOU DIRTY MAGE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" she tried hard to keep her voice from breaking, but she almost wanted to laugh at the sight.

Anders froze completely, his face turning an impressive shade of red. He released the undergarment from his hand and turned his head to the side to face his love. "H-hello, love. You're home early." He tried to push the drawer closed with his hip, as if Hawke had not caught him with his hands all over her smallclothes!

Her face broke momentarily, a smile peaked through but she masked it completely before crossing the room to reach for his feather pauldrons. "Don't act like I didn't just catch you with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar! Why are you putting your manifesto _there_ of all places?"

Anders stammered while he searched for a response that wouldn't get him killed. "I, uhm, you. Uh. This is awkward." He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. "You change your underclothes daily? I figured you would see it and want to read it if I put it there?" he finished quickly.

Marian shook her head slowly. "No, Anders. I know you put a few pages in that drawer, but I caught you _staring_."

"OH! Uh, you saw that?" he looked around the room quickly, trying to find an excuse to change the subject. None came, so he continued. "Your underclothes are pretty."

She couldn't keep up anymore. The humor in this situation was too much. Marian laughed heartily, before pulling Anders towards her to brush a quick kiss across his lips. "I would model them for you on one condition."

At the sound of her laughter, Anders couldn't help but join in, and he relished the feel of her lips on his. But her words. They confused him, but to say he wasn't intrigued would be a monstrous lie. "Oh? What is the condition?" he smirked down at his love.

Hawke smiled sweetly before running a finger down his chin. "**Burn** all the copies of that manifesto. And stop bugging my companions with them."

Anders' face lit up as he turned to her knicker drawer and pulled it open quickly. He removed all pages of his manifesto and tossed them into her fireplace. His swift hands grabbed the pair of small clothes he had been gawking at when caught and he held it out to Marian.

"Wear this first, and I will never write another manifesto again."


End file.
